Tuesday, November 8th. Erase that date from your mind. Don't even think about Tuesday, November 8th. Forget about it, okay?
Know why? Because Tuesday, November 8th is Election Day. And you're better off if you just don't vote at all. Go get Taco Bell or something instead. Better to have your colon attacked than your country.
Researchers estimate that approximately 21.3 percent of us Millennials turned up to vote in the 2014 election. I say we make that 0 percent this year.
Why? Well, for starters, just registering to vote takes so much effort. I mean, yeah you can register online at kdor.ks.gov/Apps/VoterReg/ and all you usually need is a valid driver's license, but why would you do that when you could be playing World of Warcraft?
And then, you have to actually go to the polling places on election day. Like... why? I mean, yeah the Manhattan Arts Center is incredibly close and will be open from 7 a.m. - 7 p.m., but God, do I have to?
Sure, you could also go to the Bluemont Room in the Student Union from October 19 to November 4th and vote early. But the times suck. 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. on weekdays? If I want to vote at 3 a.m. on a Saturday in a half-drunk emotional state of mind, I'm screwed.
Also, does your vote even matter? Sure, you could argue that the last gubernatorial election came down to 32,096 votes. And yeah, you could also say that since K-State stands at 23,779 students all we really have to do is care about what happens in our state in order to change the outcome of the election.
But is caring really what we Millennials do best?
Think about it. Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt said in a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal that he found Millennials to be thin skinned, overly sensitive, weak, and self-centered.
Now, funny enough, Haidt is 52. Far from a Millennial and has no good goddam idea what our generation has seen, dealt with, or experienced since it's so beyond his scope of what he grew up with... but you know what?
Maybe he's right. I mean, yeah there's that 2015 Millennial Impact Report which reported that 84 percent of Millennials made a charitable donation in 2014. And of those who donated, only 22 percent said their donation was company-solicited, meaning that 78 percent made donations on their own. This despite our mounting student debt.
And sure, that report also said 70 percent of Millennials spent at least an hour volunteering for a cause they cared about, with more than one-third volunteering 11 hours or more.
But screw us all, right? We're clearly the worst generation. So thin skinned, selfish, and apathetic.
So let's prove people like Haidt right. People who instantly label Millennials as "no good," assume our generations' problems are our own doing, and think we won't even vote anyways.
Why would we? Only 21.3 percent of us did last time.
No wonder we think politicians don't listen to us. We don't even let them know we can hear them in the first place.